Saturday, July 2, 2011

Neverland Forever by Air - June 2011

 
‎‎"So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!" — J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)


It was Friday morning. I had been impatiently waiting for this day for weeks. The moment I saw the advertisement, without a moment’s hesitation I called Channel Islands Helicopters and reserved my spot. In speaking with very friendly, Sean Casey, the brother of the owner, Dan Casey, I learned I was one of the first to book, so a prime time was available… no marine layer expected at that time of day and still plenty of time for traveling by land to visit the gates afterward. Sean was so easily accessible to make plans with, as well as fun and easy to talk to. He assured me it would be a smooth flight. I have a fear of heights but even that did not deter me from making this reservation. Over and over I tried to picture in my mind what it would be like to be so close to Neverland…there was just simply no way of knowing what to expect. I had visited the gates of Neverland many times and each time wishing upon a star that one day… just maybe... one day when I had the nerve and accessibility I’d somehow fly by helicopter over Michael’s beloved Neverland and see it with my own eyes. Other than physically walking on to the property here was a dream come true. Moreover if we could turn back time 10 years that of course would be my ideal, ultimate, perfect dream… but then I wish that everyday since Michael’s passing.  

The 25th of every month holds a somberness but in June so much sadness envelopes the MJ community. I have been missing Michael everyday since his death and always think of him daily, throughout each day, but in May I felt the wave of grief and sadness begin to wash over me again. I know I am not alone. Thankfully with the millions online around the world it is easy to find others who feel the very same way about Michael Jackson. This last weekend I heard it explained by a wonderful MJ fan, a scientist, from Spain:  This phenomenal world wide continuous grief over Michael’s loss has not gotten better but only continues to grow. The normal grieving process has been circumvented by the circumstances of Michael’s death and magnanimous person that he truly was. In fact now two years after his death in the normal grieving process of loosing someone you love when acceptance is the next step, many have found themselves instead needing to feel even closer to Michael Jackson. The missing him, the tears, the longing and need to feel closer to him in some tiny way has such a strong, organic pull in each of us, because Michael Jackson was so huge, bigger than life in all he did, so LOVED around the world. He had the ability to personally touch each person’s heart and soul. He was our Peter Pan never meant to leave us so soon and in such a horrific, shocking way that the normal grieving process did not take effect around the world but was sidelined. As a result and with the aid of the internet the MJ community has drawn together to comfort and heal in a way never seen before on this planet. 

For me the grief has gotten better because I am able to visit so many places where Michael spent time and then channel my experiences in my writing. It is very cathartic for me. Somehow I need to be where he was, meet people he knew or even shopped with, it is healing for me, yet there is never enough and always no matter where I go or who I meet there is emptiness because he is not there. He will never be there. He is gone… only his LOVE lives on, a giant, global LOVE that surrounds this planet touching people on every single continent.

I am one who believes beyond a shadow of a doubt that Michael Jackson was murdered and the man on trial for his murder, Conrad Murray, although culpable for his actions in Michael’s death is only the fall guy and did not act alone. Michael was always different when he walked this earth. He thought outside the box and never followed the normal societal boundaries in his artistic way of thinking. He was a genius motivated by the music planted in his soul while he was still in the womb. An artistic genius elevated to a spiritual level seen in only a handful of humans over the centuries. This world will never see the likes of this amazing man again. I feel so blessed to have lived in his lifetime. He was motivated by LOVE pure and simple and held on to the child like quality that most adults loose early in their tweens. Michael kept it because it was there that he felt most LOVED, most free to be himself and where the source of his creativity dwelled. Michael said “In children I see the face of God.” This LOVE that Michael shared with the world still LIVES. It lives in the MJ fan community. It grows each day and as I prepared for my flight over Neverland I felt it consume every fiber of my being. Yes the LOVE, Michael’s LOVE, is the anecdote for the grief, Michael’s invisible thread of LOVE weaving its way, connecting hearts around the world, connecting people from all parts of the world in a planetary grieving process.

Like a little child at Christmas I felt that June 24th was never going to arrive. I could hardly contain myself. I had not realized how nervous and excited I truly was until my friend, Kathy, just in from Cabo, sported us off in her little, bright lime green, rent a car. Taking no chances of missing my flight she obliged arriving extra early so we would have maximum drive time in case of hold ups.

My plan was to take a single red rose to drop from the helicopter over the far hills of Neverland and say a prayer for Michael. We weren’t long on our journey when I felt something missing and suddenly realized what that was as I blurted out as if the world had ended, “Oh my God! I forgot my red rose!!” She quickly veered the lime green bullet into a grocery store so I could obtain another red rose… I simply had to have my red rose. Instantaneously my cell phone rang and my dear friend on the other end of the line said “Betty, I have two UK MJ fans here who are taking the 1:00p.m. Channel Islands Helicopter flight. Isn’t that your flight?” Amazed I answered “YES! They must be my co-passengers since there is only room for 3 passengers on each flight.” Thinking to myself how that is SO God and SO Michael to introduce me to my fellow helicopter co-passengers on a dream come true flight even before I get there! I just sat there dumb founded as she continued to tell me their names saying, “They are bringing you four red roses.” Suddenly Nicky from the UK was on the line and I was talking to someone I had never met before who had traveled from the other side of the planet. We mutually shared our uncontainable exuberance over our upcoming flight together and for one more time in this amazing Michael journey I felt truly… I was Not Alone.

In my life there have been meager and hard felt times when as a struggling single mother, living off one sparse income, I fed and clothed my children on a wing and a prayer, so I am not unaccustomed to miracles like food on my door step or a check I never knew I was owed arriving in the mail or $50 in my purse seemingly from no where. This was just a little thing…a needed single red rose for Michael that I could easily afford; yet still as I sat and heard those words and felt the rush of God’s graceful reassurance and blessing flow over me I felt peace fill my heart and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was exactly where I was suppose to be, doing exactly what God wanted me to do, at exactly the moment assigned…. my divine appointment.  Astoundingly reassured God proved to me one more time that He knows the smallest desires of our hearts and gladly and freely blesses us with them when we are in His perfect will. I so love those affirmations from God.  So… having pulled into the market place to buy a single red rose and with never stepping out of the car I put my purse down and felt blessed abundantly with not one red rose but four red roses instead. As the bible says “My cup runneth over.” My Christian friend smiled and supportively said, “See, God is in charge” as she directed her bright, lime green car away from the grocery store and on down the road to Neverland we flew as we both said “Thank you Lord!”

We quickly traveled along the now very familiar, beautiful road which runs through my neighboring valley, emerging with the Pacific on our left as we veered right in pursuit of our destination, the Santa Ynez Airport. However my mind and heart were racing so that I was not able to drink in the landscape as I normally do. The usually soothing journey, even the beautiful Pacific seemed dull and dark with the heavy marine layer surrounding us like a cumbersome thick blanket. The normally comforting feeling I get from the low lying clouds only seemed instead to be holding me back from all the day had in store. I couldn’t wait to break free from it. I noticed little, but took great comfort in Michael’s beautiful voice serenading us as we traveled. All was a blur to me until we made the turn up into the Santa Ynez Valley and broke through the marine layer. There the sudden brilliance of the azure blue sky glistened and the wild flowers greeted us as if to say ‘This day was made especially for your Neverland flight.’


Excitement continued to spill over in my heart as we flew down the road to seek out the airport. We arrived with time to spare to find the cutest, quaintest airport located just moments away from Solvang. There was a wonderful cool breeze, an amazing beautifully well cared for flower garden complete with luscious grape vines, which of course the gardener in me noticed and took comfort in immediately. A giant shade tree set in the middle of emerald green grass with an inviting row of wooden Victorian lawn chairs looked out over the small airstrip. There was a group of MJ fans gathered at a picnic table and I smiled and greeted them as I walked toward the airport office to seek out my pilot. I met and introduced myself to the pilot, Dan Casey, a very nice man who seemed eager to learn information about Neverland from the fans and without prompting I immediately began to regal him with stories I had read. One in particular about Michael’s award house on the Neverland property. He was attentive and very accommodating while he answered my questions about where we would fly and what we would see. The staff was welcoming and ready for excited and exuberant Michael Jackson fans and were very open, reassuring and friendly. 


In my anxiety and need to leave early we had arrived over an hour early so we decided to travel on into Solvang for a quick look at Michael’s favorite Solvang antique store. I wanted to show my friend the wonderful Violina Virtuoso music box. To my delight Dorothy was working and I was able to talk to her again about Michael and as always the love that fills her face at the mention of his name glowed forth. She quickly offered to play the music box for us and proceeded to turn it on. My friend was amazed. I love to see the look on the faces of those who have never heard it before. The gasp as the sound greets their ears and travels to their heart. A Face Book friend, Siren from Canada, who also visited the antique store over the week of June 25th described this music as “A heavenly sound, like angels weeping, touching the depth of your soul.” I was thrilled to learn this week as well that this beautiful and unique piece may still be on the premises at Neverland.         

 
After our visit to the antique store we scurried on back to the airport but stopped briefly as my eye caught sight of the most amazing sign posted in front of the local school which I found so fitting for this journey. I could not resist jumping out to snap a pic of, “An Invitation To Dance” another sign from God I was on my right path. Hopping back in the bullet we sped off to the airport where I physically met my co-passengers, Nicky and Rachael, from the UK. We immediately bonded and they gave me my roses for the flight. Also each of us were given sunflowers for Michael. It had been a concern for me that tossing out anything from the helicopter including biodegradable flowers may be considered rude and inconsiderate. Then I learned that the flowers would be thrown out at Zaca Lake which is on the border to Michael’s Neverland property, it will always be Michael’s Neverland to me. I had learned on previous visits to Neverland that Michael had planned on buying this Zaca Lake property because of the Indian spiritual history behind it but cancelled his plans when in 2004 and 2005 he had to turn his attention to surviving living hell. So it was with deep sorrow that on our flight I tossed the flowers out the helicopter door over Zaca Lake and Neverland and said a prayer for Justice for Michael Jackson and safety and protection for his beautiful children. It seemed the most appropriate place to say such a prayer for that is where one of Michael Jackson’s dreams died and in opposition to what was done to Michael I wanted to be a teeny part in the process to reignite hope and healing over Michael’s legacy. 

 
The three of us, the 1:00 o’clock passengers, met and immediately began enthusiastic conversation. There was an instantaneous bond in LOVE for Michael and our excitement was almost uncontainable. We laughed, hugged and shared about how we met ahead of time through my beautiful friend, Robyn. I looked at each and felt I’d known them all my life. They were my sisters immediately. These two lovely ladies traveled from the other side of the globe for just this moment in time to stand with me, for the three of us to fly together our hearts connected by Michael's LOVE. Only God can do this… create this divine appointment.


Travis Olson approached us, in a smiling and reassuring way stating he needed to take us aside for a safety meeting. I perked up and immediately pushed to the back of my mind any past conversations and warnings from well meaning people about how dangerous helicopters are, refusing to allow negativity in. Turns out he just wanted to give us a very simple explanation of how to approach the helicopter, where to step and how to handle the seat belts. As he talked I was so excited I could barely retain what he was saying so I just prayed, “Dear Lord please don’t let anything happen. Give us a smooth safe ride” and then as soon as he finished I turned back to talking to my new friends about Neverland and their journey to this moment in time. 
 
We made our way out on to the tarmac and waited for our bird to arrive. Just like in the movies we heard it before we saw it, then there it was the blades whirring loudly above. Somehow it looked very small in the air but when it landed it looked so much bigger and sturdier. We stood back at a safe distance while three fans with smiles big as the sun hopped out and walked toward us, Speechless, thumbs up. That was all I needed to see. I was more than ready to jump on board. All fear of heights waylaid for the moment. I was wondering how I would react since I was sitting in the front and don't do well with heights but mentally reassured myself  that I’d be strapped in and the pilot was experienced. Travis escorted us out to the helicopter. The sight, sound and wind of the blades whooshing way over head like a giant wind machine. I found myself wondering why everyone always ducks when around a helicopter; the blades seemed so high there was no danger... but then was told later ducking is a good thing around a helicopter... as not everyone is a vertically challenged short person like myself. Then Travis helped us in with a little step stool and we were careful to step only where he had instructed us to do so. Dan Casey, the owner and pilot, sat inside and greeted each of us with a big smile while handing us individual head sets with microphones to wear. It is very loud in the helicopter and speaking into the microphone headset made it very easy to communicate. Dan turned on the helicopter IPOD and Michael’s beautiful voice filled our headsets as we lifted off up, up, up into the air. He whisked us away from the airport... destination: Neverland. Literally… the GPS was set for NVRLND. I felt like Tinkerbell… if you only believe! “I do believe! I do believe!” My stomach was absolutely fine and it was such a smooth ride I had no fear of heights at all; only the most amazing view of Michael’s beautiful neighboring countryside. I was amazed to learn as we flew that we were traveling at 120 mph… it seemed like only about 4 mph. It was such a smooth and comfortable ride I quickly settled in and all qualms and nervousness about the flight itself vanished. Dan was fun, friendly and accommodating and confirmed we would look for Michael’s awards house on the property and have a very close up view of Neverland. I was happy to realize he was very interested in new information about the property and was happy to help find this house for us. 


 
Before you know it rising up out of the seemingly never ending dry, scrub brush an emerald island of green appeared, there it was… Michael’s beloved Neverland! It took my breath away. We flew over the main gates which are now re-installed; however are missing the incredible gold filigree arch and adornments, apparently all sold at auction. It was very sad to me as they do not look like Michael’s gates although I am happy they are back in some form. What struck me the most were the trees, so many trees around Michael’s main house. The trees made it difficult to see the house and I immediately thought of Michael saying how much he loved trees and made a mental note to search for The Giving Tree. Everything went so quickly as we circled lower and lower. I was torn between just looking and taking pics. Dan must have noticed my anxiety and reassured me saying, “Remember to take time to just look and take it in and don’t worry about the pictures.” So yes I did… I tried to snap pics and was able to get some but my UK friends obtained many more. We later made a pact to share all of them with each other. The pictures you see in this story are from all three of us.



The grounds are very well kept up, like a beautiful sanctuary. Clearly you can see why Michael loved living there so much. The rides are gone now; however the grounds around each area where a ride was placed is maintained and restored to just as it was when Michael lived there and the rides were present. I got the feeling of “If you build it they will come.” The lake is just beautiful with its gushing towers of spraying water. Then I noticed right there before us lay the bridge. The same bridge Michael and his good friend, Ryan White, walked on and happily talked and laughed. The flower beds are gorgeous, filled with brilliant glowing flowers, and the train station and Neverland logo are simply beautiful, restored on the outside just as Michael would have had it, albeit the statues are still missing. Seeing the crystal blue pool brought a huge smile as memories flooded my mind of Michael’s home movies when his nephews kept pushing him in the pool. Also the rolling grass triggered pictures of Michael on an Easter egg hunt. What great times Michael had living in this oasis, his retreat from all the evil that stalked him.  I felt such pain for him as I thought about how he was forced to leave this incredible place because of greed and lies. Like all things Michael the heartache never leaves; however the beauty and joy always seems to over ride it, creating the most bittersweet of experiences. I don’t think I stopped smiling once the entire trip even when I welled up with tears. I thought I would cry, I mean loose it, but I didn’t because it was simply just too amazing and I didn’t want to miss a thing. 




I told the pilot a group of friends would be on a bus at the gates so he circled back around to the front gate. They had not arrived yet so he circled back to show us the view from the other side of the gates looking out. Something I thought I’d never see but yearn to see each time I visit. To be on the other side of those front gates was simply amazing. He decided to look for the bus as we circled around again and there along Figueroa Mtn.Rd. we spotted it running a bit late moving on down the road to Neverland. I couldn’t believe it when Dan said lets just fly along next to them for a while so you can wave at them. I laughed a big belly laugh and waved and waved as we did indeed fly along next to the bus and then he jokingly said “They can’t see you.” Later I was told they did see us… well the helicopter anyway flying along next to them. Like a big kid I happily said “That was ME!!”


He flew us over to Zaca Lake at this point where he hovered as each of us dropped our flowers saying a silent prayer for Michael. Dan was so kind, considerate and understanding as he said “Did you each have time to say your prayer?” as we nodded and said yes into our headsets in response, then I was astonished as he maneuvered the helicopter back and dropped the nose so we could get a good look at our flowers laying on the Neverland hillside. It was the most considerate and kind thing he could have done at that moment. “God bless your sweet soul, Michael, and your children” is all I could think of at that moment as tears filled my eyes. 


 
Dan then asked the question he already knew the answer to, “Would you like to go take another look at Neverland?” A huge unanimous “YES! OMG Are you kidding? YES!” echoed through the microphones and he spun us around and we flew back over Neverland for another closer look. I had wanted to get another pic of both the butterflies at the base of where the ferris wheel once stood and also of the train station. This time we also looked for the house, the three bedroom house on the Neverland property which held many of Michael’s awards. He did not keep them in his main home. As the most incredible and loving father he wanted his children to have the most normal childhood he could give them, so he did not want his children to know him as anything but “Daddy.” Dan had said there were a couple of places it might be so he zoomed us over to the Zoo area. I didn’t see any animals but we all now know, with thanks to Larry Nimmer, that the staff are housing animals there today, tending to sick animals that some how have come by way of Neverland. Somehow I believe Michael would approve wholeheartedly of this wonderful kindness. We found a large building near the barn but it didn’t coincide with the story I had read. So he flew over to another area and there up and away from the house back on a dirt road and up a hill was a small house. Yes this one fit the description completely. I looked down on this humble, unassuming, certainly less than glorious house thinking about how in the rolling hills of Neverland for many years this simple house stored such incredibly, priceless, one of a kind items all in one place belonging to our King of Pop, Rock, Soul and LOVE. According to the story there were so many awards that even the bathroom and kitchen held MJ’s awards. They weren’t just on a wall or in a room but every room in the house was filled with his awards. How many people on this planet could claim that? I sat riveted in my seat staring at the roof of this unassuming home and wondered where they all were now and sadness creeped in yet again. Then smiled as I couldn’t help but picture Michael pulling up to that simple house in his Bentley and jumping out like he was going to a neighbor’s to borrow sugar but instead dropping off another MTV award. Hee hee! Yes this was the place. It has been there along time now and the roof looks as if it needs replacing. This house was the only other possible large structure that lined up with the details of the story I had read.  Once again I thought “God bless your precious soul Michael.”


 
Again we took a closer look at the grounds and this time I noticed the Arcade. This was not far from the house and I laughed as I thought of Michael running over to play the games anytime of the day or night, his child like spirit free to be who he was in this wonderland. I remembered an interview where he said he loaded up some of his favorite pin ball games and flew them with him on tour. We flew over the railroad tracks and saw how they connected to the Railroad Station, Michael’s own Disneyland train station. A Neverland logo of the little boy sitting on the crescent moon was there just to the side of the train station beautifully maintained on the hillside. The barn where the trains were stored is there as well as all the Zoo structures, all beautifully maintained. Circling again we took another look at the lake and front house area, then flew on back to the front gates where we checked out the visiting fans. It was around about this time I thought the ride would be ending and we’d be on our way… then Dan shocked me by saying “Well did you see enough?” I responded with “Oh I really wanted to see The Giving Tree. It all went so fast I forgot to look for it.” So he said “Ok! Well let’s take a look” and turned the helicopter around and went BACK to Neverland!! We passed by a couple more times and I looked and looked but I could not figure out of all the trees there which was The Giving Tree and then suddenly I blinked and looked again and there it was in all it’s glory with the platform and all before my very eyes. Then it was gone. If you asked me to point out where I couldn’t, as it all happened so fast. Oh Dear Lord how much comfort and inspiration that blessed tree brought to Michael. Thank you God for a glimpse of that beautiful tree. The Giving Tree a monument For All Time to Michael’s incredible, spiritually inspired genius and artistic gift of music and LOVE. My trip was complete. My dream come true. 


Dan turned the helicopter back toward the quaint little airport in the Santa Ynez hills and as we flew off over and beyond the Neverland gates I felt Neverland tugging at my heart, pulling me back, beckoning me not to leave. I so did not want this flight to end. I thought about how incredibly painful and deeply heart wrenching it must have been for Michael to turn his back on his beloved Neverland and walk away. He had said in his home movies, “Neverland is the totality of me, the culmination of all that I am.” Then they robbed him of his beautiful home. I could see the sadness in Michael’s eyes as we flew towards the airport. It was mostly silent now in the cockpit, just the sound of the blades whirring above. I took in the incredibly beautiful horse ranches below and tried to assimilate all that I had just seen. Somehow though I will never be able to assimilate all the torture Michael Jackson was put through. For me this place, this oasis, this land of wonder should never have been taken from Michael and it will For All Time be Michael’s home, Michael’s Never-Neverland, a very spiritual place where so much joy, healing and good took place.


Before we knew it we had arrived back at the tidy, picturesque airport and Dan skillfully landed the helicopter smooth as butter. We were all smiles as we profusely thanked him for an amazing journey. What an awesome job you have Dan! Travis graciously helped us out while the next set of passengers eagerly waited to take our place. 


  
Nicky and Rachael will always have a special place in my heart because of this once in a lifetime mutually shared experience. We decided to drive on to the Neverland gates together. They followed along behind the lime green bullet for a visit at the gates by land. Then later in the week we met several more times and shared some amazingly touching moments including visiting Michael at Holly Terrace, Forest Lawn until closing… we will always Remember The Time. 




Thank you Dan, Sean and Travis from Channel Islands Helicopters for the most unforgettable, magnificent day of flight over Neverland…. just there the second star to the right and straight on till morning!!!   




Update 8/11/2015
For all those coming to Southern California and are interested in taking the Neverland Heli Flyover.... Channel Islands Heli is no longer in business. At this point in time there are no more flights with this company or any other heli companies in the Santa Ynez area. Sadly the June 2015 Neverland Flyovers were the last flights.
















Side note:
** After writing this story I realized the sequence of flight returns over Neverland may not be in the precise order they took place; however the feeling and sights seen are as written and captured. It all happened so quickly. 


* If you intend to ever take this flight be sure to take a video camera for best results on pics. It has been rumored that Channel Islands Helicopters will possibly be doing flights over Neverland on Michael’s birthday in August, 2012.


A sign posted on the tree by an MJ fan at the Neverland front gates on June 25, 2011.




"Now to Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us... Unto Him be the glory." Ephesians 3: 20-21


Beautiful Video by Robyn Starkand. "Michael loved DeBussy's Claire de Lune and its perfect for the magic at Neverland...enjoy the journey....." ~ Robyn ~

Monday, May 30, 2011

What More Can I Give


This time of year the Jacaranda trees which line the entrance street to Forest Lawn, Glendale are in full bloom, raining down purple, creating a royal carpet for all who enter the gates. American flags are flying on street poles, their bright red and white stripes creating an outstanding eye catching contrast to the purple everywhere. The beauty of God’s work over whelms me and I feel the need to capture this moment in time, before proceeding into Holly Terrace to visit Michael. So I stop my car and hop out to snap a few pictures. 


It is Memorial Day weekend here in the U.S. There are American flags out in cities all over the U.S. This is a time to honor those who have served in the military for our country and who fought and died for our freedom. These brave soldiers are being honored in churches, parades and cemeteries. My own parents fought in WWII, my father a 1st Lieutenant in the Army in both Europe and Japan, and my mother, also a Lieutenant WAC, WWII Nurse in Europe. My brother bravely fought in Vietnam and my nephew now serves in the Navy. I hold so much pride and gratitude for all who have served in the military. I know on my own parents graves American flags are proudly and gratefully flying this weekend. 

On this Sunday the day before Memorial Day I felt the need to visit Forest Lawn. The American flags line the entrance and when I arrive there is no one present at Holly Terrace. I can’t help but think of how Michael loved this country with all his heart. No matter what came at him or how he was slandered… he loved God and his country. How he stood proud and sang “What More Can I Give” after 9/11. How he just cried when the first black president was elected into office. How other presidents honored him and befriended him. They all saw the real Michael Jackson. 

Soon my wonderful friend who I haven’t seen for what feels like at least a few months now joins me and we immediately pick up right where we left off. The conversation always flows so freely about many things but always ultimately ends up about family and Michael Jackson. Soon others arrive to pay respects to Michael Jackson for their first time, having traveled from San Diego, Texas and other areas. It never ceases to amaze me the varied generations that LOVE Michael Jackson, from very young babies to the elderly. Many are present today at Holly Terrace. Old friends also arrive and hugs are shared and it is so good to see so many familiar faces. Today we stay until the sun hits the Ascension windows and lights up the end of the hall and the crypt where Michael is laid to rest. It is my favorite part of the day at Holly Terrace, where the darkness leaves and light spills in around Michael.

Before leaving for the day we make sure to visit Elizabeth Taylor’s burial spot with the beautiful Angel standing above. We stay for the show which displays a beautiful stained glass replica of the Leonardo Da Vinci's "Last Supper" and look closely at the artistry of Michael Angelo’s exact replica statues of Day and Night, Dusk and Dawn and the La Pieta. It all reminds me so much of Michael. His favorite times of the day being dusk and dawn. The master’s work he loved so dearly and admired greatly so close by to where he lays is not lost on me. Both my friend and I smile as we realize Elizabeth Taylor, forever the actress, will forever be present at the entrance where the curtains are drawn and the show plays daily.

Today I am reminded of one of my first stories I wrote for my beautiful, kind friend, Bonnie from MJ-Upbeat.  For all those who have never been to Forest Lawn, Glendale and Holly Terrace or may not ever be able to travel here, I am re-posting this story below as it was written and posted in January 2010, with only a few minor changes, in the hopes it will help you to feel a bit closer to Michael at Holly Terrace. As one fan that was visiting on Sunday said through her tears, “This is the closest I will ever have gotten to Michael.” 


January 4, 2010
MJ – Upbeat Poster’s Journey to Holly Terrace
I feel blessed to live close by Holly Terrace so I thought I would share today’s visit and the MJ-Upbeat Poster’s journey to Holly Terrace.

It is Sunday, January 3, 2010 and although it is January the sun is bright and warm and there is a brilliant blue sky. It doesn’t feel like winter but like a warm spring day. Many wonderful Southern California Michael Jackson fans are visiting Michael Jackson today to show their L.O.V.E.

The main entrance to Forest Lawn, Glendale, California is a huge imported arch way of filigreed wrought iron and it is still decorated with a giant Christmas wreath for the holidays. It brings to mind the Christmas wreaths MJ would put out for Blanket and the children all year long, which hung on the gates of Neverland and the Carolwood home. Somehow it seems very fitting for it to still be there.


Holly Terrace is up the road and around a bend and as you begin your journey up the lane off to the right is a gorgeous pond with Greek type statue of a beautiful woman with a baby in her arms. The birds chirp every where and one delicately lands for a drink on the floating Lily pads as I snap a picture. Every where you look you are reminded of children. It seems so fitting for Michael Jackson.


I make my way up the small hill and curve around the bend and there I see to the left the back side of Holly Terrace. This is where Michael Jackson rests just inside this wall on the upper level, under the beautiful stained glass window. The light hits the window at all times of the day creating a glow inside the mausoleum just over Michael’s crypt.


The Great Mausoleum is straight ahead. It is a large castle like building with an intricate stone bridge connecting it to the building where Michael Jackson lays. Below is a picture from the Forest Lawn web site as I forgot to capture the picture of the Great Mausoleum from the front. This picture faces the stone bridge and this is where Michael’s hearse took that long heart breaking drive the day of his funeral. Just under the bridge on the left is Holly Terrace.



Here at the Great Mausoleum entrance etched in stone is the Builder’s Creed written by the man who founded Forest Lawn cemeteries. There is an adorable statue of little children with their dog, as well as a breathtaking large statue of Jesus with the little children. I am reminded of Michael in an interview saying “I will never stop helping and loving people the way Jesus said to. He said continue to love, always love, bring on the children, imitate the children, not childish but childlike.”


I make my way under the stone bridge and up the small hill and park at the Sunrise Slope curb just outside the stair way to Holly Terrace. The view looking out over the hill from Holly Terrace is filled with beautiful trees and reminds me of Michael when he spoke in TII about how much he loved trees.


There are already several fans gathered. I retrieve the MJ-Upbeat poster from the back seat and make my way up the entrance to Holly Terrace. I am greeted by Heidi, Robyn and so many others from Michael Jackson Fans of Southern California Face Book Page. It is so wonderful to talk to others who love Michael Jackson.


I offer the pen to some of Michael's fans so they can sign the MJ-Upbeat poster and then my new friend, Robyn, holds it up high, as I march down the road to get a picture of the poster and the Holly Terrace balcony from a distance.


More fans are arriving and both adults and children are very happy to be able to write a note to Michael on the MJ-Upbeat poster. I met Michael Jackson fans from New York, Texas, Japan and I believe it was France and Germany. A wonderful lady who came with her two sons from Japan brought a large bottle filled with 100’s of origami swans and handed them out to the fans with a large portion still left in the jar for Michael.
Southern California fans who had been in touch with other fans from around the globe kindly brought items that had been mailed to them. They were all placed at the entrance door to Holly Terrace for Michael. Many had sent pictures, cards and drawings they had hand made, sketched, drawn or painted from all over the world conveying their love and loss of Michael, some from children as young as six years old. Fans arrived throughout the afternoon with flowers and cards. We were told the Christmas tree and all the gifts left in December were inside at Michael’s place. All today’s items too would also be taken in by security at the end of the day.

Someone brought an IPOD and small speakers and Michael’s music is playing. His voice is echoing thru the porch area and just about everyone is singing along. We all know the words to each song even as they fade out at the end we are still singing along. We laugh together. It is beautiful. We all take a turn looking inside the window. It is difficult to see anything because it is very dark inside. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust and if you cup your hands just right you can at first see the lights along the corridor and then the stained glass window at the very end. You focus and then there it is. You can just make out Michael’s beautiful marble crypt at the very end of the hallway under the stained glass window.  

Here is a small picture which was not taken today but by someone else. It shows the inside much clearer than any of us saw today with the exception of one very blessed woman, but that is another story which I don’t feel free to share. Let’s just say it was a very rare, moving and spiritual experience for her.


There was beautiful little girl there, I believe her name is Lisa, who reminds me of the Michael’s TII Earth Girl. She is so precious and loves to help her mommy ready the flowers and other mementos they leave. My heart melts every time I see her looking through the glass to see Michael. It was sad and at times heart wrenching to feel the deep loss; but healing and uplifting to spend a simply beautiful day sharing Michael’s L.O.V.E.

Thank you, Bonnie, I was blessed to represent on behalf of MJ-Upbeat.




by Betty, Lisa and MJFSC

Thanks Lisa Burkes


Dear Betty,
Thank you so very much for representing MJ-Upbeat and all the fans who visit this web site. You have made us feel as if we were actually there. What a beautiful and heartwarming day. Michael must feel the love as he looks down at his resting place and watches as everyone gathers together in honor of him.
I hope someday I will be able to come and join you at this very special place.
You've described it as a type of heaven with the trees and the birds, the statues and all the beautiful scenery, but most of all, I look forward to meeting all the fans and spending time reminiscing about Michael.
Thank you again Betty.
From the bottom of my heart.
Love Always,
Bonnie Lamrock
MJ-Upbeat.com
I would also like to thank Jessica for the use of her beautiful photo used for the poster.
Thank you Jessica. :-)


WE LOVE YOU, MICHAEL!!! 



Monday, May 9, 2011

Dove of LOVE


I have a Dove of LOVE who comes to visit me. His first surprising visit came last year only days after the Doves of LOVE Release over Forest Lawn on the anniversary of Michael’s death. I was not looking forward to this day of heartache; however what that day on June 25, 2010 became for me was simply a celebration of the life of Michael Jackson in a way I could have never imagined.

My God is a God of miracles. I know when many people hear or read the word miracle they may think of the blind seeing and the lame walking as in the Old Testament but I have come to believe in and look for the everyday wonderful uplifting and reassuring little miracles in life, signs of hope and reassurance that God is alive and well amongst us right now TODAY in the world we live in.

My dove who I have now named, Michael, comes to visit, and by no coincidence, only at times when I need reassurance and confirmation the most. He is my very tangible sign from the Lord that I am on His assigned path... a path that the Lord set me on around July 2009. For it was about this time that words began to fill my mind, heart, soul and being in an ever expanding, over flowing, overwhelming way. I found myself scribbling phrases and descriptive comments on slips of paper wherever and whenever they hit me because I felt I could no longer keep them all inside. There were simply too many, I had to write them down and express them, capture them and the more I wrote the more came to me. The words, thoughts, writings rolled through my mind unceasing, day and night; always about Michael. 

I remember looking at my son and his girl friend, two of the most amazing people, and feeling like I was going to burst as I heard myself blurt out “I know it may seem as if I have gone off the rails and I haven’t written in years but I HAVE to write. I simply HAVE to write. I have to write about Michael Jackson!” It was the last part of that statement I thought might make them wonder. At the time I had only just begun to reveal to my family how deeply I had been affected by Michael’s death. I had never been an adoring "fan" of anyone except the Lord Jesus Christ who is and was and will always be the main man in my life. I remember them looking back at me with an incredulous look like I had just grown two heads and glancing at one another like “What? What do we do? What do we say to this?” I could see them questioning my sanity. I laugh now about that moment in time and gratefully know they not only support me but encourage me in my writings and LOVE for MJ. They understand my need to fight the wrong inflicted on Michael in his life, to share the truth. This is my passion, my assignment from the Lord, to share about my Michael Jackson adventures and in some way touch the lives of those who can not be here in Southern California in a way that helps them feel as though they are traveling along on my adventures, providing some small avenue of healing in the loss of Michael Jackson. 

Sometime around April 2010 I found myself joining forces on a mission for Michael, a labor of love called “Doves of LOVE Release” set to take place on June 25, 2010. Our mission was to release 400 white doves over Forest Lawn to honor Michael Jackson. I anticipated this day would be filled with many tears, pain and much heartache as fans from around the world arrived at Forest Lawn, Glendale to relive that terrible day one year earlier. As I have said many times “I will forever be counting backwards from June 25th, 2009”. That was the day that changed lives around this planet, the day when Michael Jackson died and an unmistakable, unfillable void was felt around the world. However as in all things Michael since June 25th, 2009 there are bitter sweet emotions that weave their way through our hearts and lives. Surprisingly this day was no exception and instead of sadness we celebrated with the most incredible joy. We laughed, cried and shared about the man who brought us all to this place in time. LOVE draped Forest Lawn this day, a tangible real entity which moved throughout the gathering of fans touching hearts and lives the entire day.

June in Southern California is a very hot time of year, the air that day was hot and very heavy but the sky was bright blue and our spirits were high and electric. Embarking on  a mission of LOVE for our king we were committed in a genuine spirit of L.O.V.E. for Michael Jackson to make this event a reality. I had faith it would take place but daily the obstacles seemed almost insurmountable. The final verdict from Forest Lawn officials and also almost too happily touted by the media was “No doves would be allowed to be released for Michael Jackson any where on the Forest Lawn property.” This announcement came only days before the event which left our plans in shambles and us totally in the lurch. We began frantically searching to no avail for somewhere to release the doves so that the contributing fans would not be disappointed and we could honor Michael in a beautiful way.  There simply was no where except Forest Lawn that was appropriate. We forged on.

Their denial of a peaceful dove release for Michael only ran home the fact that this MUST happen. We would not allow yet one more time that Michael be slighted. Not giving up we dug our heels in and continued to search for a way to make this happen. We were not only banned but the police were out in full force to make sure the rules would be adhered to. 

The end result was all involved, which numbered about seven main people at final count including the dove man himself, and then another seven or so supporting MJ fans gathered very incognito at an inconspicuous gathering place very close to Forest Lawn. The dove man even went so far as to cover the sign on the side of his truck so officials would not be alerted to the dove’s presence. We all made our selves as un-Michael Jacksonish and casual as possible. It was all very 007. There in a small secluded parking lot just out of the eye shot of the media and the police the helpers unloaded about 20 large rattan baskets, as we all rebelliously giggled, whispered, hid from the press, communicated by cell phone and laid our plan of action into place, with all the team members arrival and the destination decided the doves were tightly strapped to rolling carts. We all walked nonchalantly in small groups down one side of the street and up the other until we were in place on city property, not Forest Lawn property, but planted directly in front of Forest Lawn. As we deliberately made our way to our destination we all prayed the entire time that no one would stop us and tell us we could not be there. Passers by in cars stopped and quizzically asked “Are those the Doves for Michael Jackson?” We looked at them like we were clueless and said ‘Huh? What? Where? Us? Oh no... there must be a wedding.” They doubtfully responded “Oh yeah, right”, gave us a knowing smile and moved on. 


What could have been a very sad day was filled with so much L.O.V.E., so much JOY and many, many smiling happy faces abounded everywhere. It was a day blessed by God and filled with Michael’s LOVE. Somehow I also felt like Michael would have loved our undercover prankster-ness. It never fails to amaze me how LOVE envelopes all that surrounds Michael Jackson. As if he is still here touching each of us in his own very special way. I know that the Lord is in charge, he is my God, my King of Kings but I do believe that he allows Michael’s LOVE to continue to bless each of us here on earth who love and miss Michael. On this most special day the LORD showed himself mightily as he rained down his grace over us for Michael with a giant message of pure LOVE filled with utter JOY. I remember clearly looking across the street at the media after the Doves flew and even the media were smiling in awe. Tears from MJ’s fans came yes but the smiles always followed because you simply can not think of the joy, LOVE and beauty that Michael Jackson shared with this world and not smile.



In a stealth like mode we arrived at our destination just outside the gates and walls of Forest Lawn and casually but quickly unloaded all the baskets placing them in a long straight row on the side walk, the openings facing toward the main street. Each kept tightly closed until the moment of release. It was a perfect setting on this hot summer day as we all stood in a line Soldiers of LOVE just under the beautiful, purple blooming Jacaranda tree, which seemed so fitting for the King. Across the street the typical hordes of news media camped out waiting for anything Jackson to happen. A few came over and asked questions, one in particular, a camera man from TMZ seemed to smell a Dove story, but we had all agreed that no one, simply no one would breath a word about what was in the baskets. We all kept mum. You could see people shaking their heads "No" to him and “No comment” or “I’m not sure what you are asking about” could be heard up and down the line every time someone from the media would ask. A huge sign which read in bold letters: “King of Pop, Michael Jackson" and in big red letters "Gone Too Soon” was unfurled and held up in front of the baskets protecting them from prying eyes and cameras. We kept in touch with someone in the Jackson camp as they attended the service for Michael inside Holly Terrace and stayed on top of when they would be leaving. After the service they graciously greeted fans who gathered from all over the world shaking hands and kindly taking the time to share greetings. We had managed to inform them of the Dove Release and were told they wanted to see the doves fly. We stood eagerly waiting, adrenaline pumping, anticipating the ‘go’ signal. The Jackson camp gave us word they were leaving and on their way down to the main gates. Soldiers of LOVE we stood prepared, at the ready. 

Upon the Jackson's caravan exiting at the main gates they stopped, lowered their windows and watched as 400 white doves were simultaneously released for Michael. As Janet, Randy, Tito and all the Jacksons there that day watched within only seconds the giant sign was raised revealing the baskets, the lids were lifted and the doves flew. The sight of these majestic birds of peace and the sound of their wings purposely, yet gently and powerfully flapping, the whoosh of warm air as they flew right by my face was absolutely surreal. There is simply no way to explain this experience except to say “anointed” by God. As the doves were released you could hear cries of "We LOVE you Michael!" 

The doves flew straight out of the baskets and then inexplicably turned right toward the Jackson family. The Jacksons smiled, waved and thanked us and turned their caravan right and moved on down the street accompanied over head by 400 white doves as if it were all exactly planned to happen that way. It was such a huge blessing to know that our efforts brought a smile and look of awe to the Jackson's and hundreds of fan's faces on such a difficult day. 

The doves seemed to fully understand and acknowledge the importance of their flight as they flew with the family to the end of the street where the Jacksons then turned left to head toward their destination. As if saying goodbye to them the doves then lifted their flight and flew the opposite direction, flying up into the blue California sky and back toward Forest Lawn. The sight in the sky was simply breathtakingly beautiful. 400 white doves glistening in the mid-day sky, flying in unison toward the resting place of our King of Pop. I need to interject here that the dove man said that his doves are not trained to release this way. They never turn right and come back, they usually fly out straight and then up and around in an ever increasing circular pattern to find their bearings and then head home. On this day Michael’s doves however turned right and flew with his family down the street, then flew up and back towards Forest Lawn where they then flew in four ever increasing large circles over the Mausoleum and Holly Terrace. Then they turned and headed for home... all except for one lone dove. This lone dove, according to many who were present, instead of traveling with the group perched itself up on a tree over looking Holly Terrace. There he sat for some time watching until he too flew up and making a lone final circular flight over Holly Terrace, as if to say a final farewell, flew toward home as well. All the doves were reported as arriving home safely within a couple of hours or so of the initial release including the lone dove.

I will never forget this amazing experience and the people who joined in this effort of LOVE for Michael Jackson. This day will never be duplicated and I am so grateful to have been there to experience this day of LOVE. God had his hand on all that took place for Michael with the doves and again this shows the anointing of God on Michael Jackson, His chosen ambassador of LOVE in the modern world. I feel so blessed to have lived in Michael’s lifetime, to have seen his true heart of LOVE in action on this planet, to have had my life filled with his music and creativity on a daily basis. Those who love and know the real heart of Michael Jackson are never surprised by stories like the Dove Release. He touched this world, every continent on this planet with his music and his LOVE. God honors those who honor Him and God has honored Michael in truly miraculous ways. 
So it was that only a few days after this glorious event as I was feeling still draped in so much LOVE, awe, wonder and blessing that I found myself out in my garden talking to God as I often do when out of no where a dove flew down and touched my shoulder then hovered before me for what seemed like at least a full minute. Now at the time I had lived in my home for 24 years and never in all that time had a dove flown into my backyard, let alone flew down and touched me. I was startled and astonished to say the least. I just stood Speechless, unable to move or react. At first I thought OMG a dove didn't make it home but this dove was a pale-pinkish taupe color not white like Michael's doves; I have been told most likely a Turtle Dove. I just stood still in awe wondering how on earth this was happening. This beautiful creature just flew before me gently flapping his wings then just as suddenly flew to the apple tree next door that over looks my small yard and perched on a branch where he sat looking at me. I felt as though I needed to say something to my new guest so I asked “Well where did you come from?” He just sat there looking at me, coo-cooing. He was magnificent. He glowed in the sun light. I told him “You are beautiful” as I couldn’t think of much else to say as I stood riveted watching him. He stayed for a minute or so more and then he flew off as I listened to his wings flapping. It was such a comforting sound similar to the one I had heard only days before and right there in my own backyard. I kept thinking I should have said more but what do you say to a visiting dove? For me this was an amazing confirmation that my involvement in the Doves of LOVE Release was God’s plan for me, an amazing gesture of gratitude, a thank you. I always look for and cherish God’s signs of confirmation and direction in my life. For me this was definitely one.

Then recently this last March almost twenty-two months since Michael’s death the fans had sent out a Call For Love. I immediately felt the urging of the Lord to help. I wrote a plea for Peace and LOVE on my blog called “Will You Be There?” and felt a prompting from the Lord to cross bridges of unforgiveness and reach out and encourage LOVE as Michael would have wanted. My plea, which you can read here on my blog, requested the MJ fans gather at the courthouse in peace, unity and solidarity. Again only a couple days after this blog article was posted I was out in my garden and the dove again unexpectedly came to visit me. I stood in the exact same location as his first visit but this time he flew down under the tree and then back and forth in front of me as if talking to me. Then he flew to the same apple tree, perched there again for awhile but this time cooing more loudly like he really had an important message for me. Again I felt total confirmation that yes I am on God’s path of LOVE for Michael Jackson. I would like to say I carried on some sort of dialog with my dove but again I was so astonished with my visitor I found it hard to speak and felt I didn’t want to ruin the moment with my inadequate words. So I watched him for the most part wishing with all my heart I could speak "dove" and then finally said “Well hello there. I have missed you. You are so beautiful.” And then as he flew away I said, “Goodbye”.

Now this last week I began once again to feel the prompting from the Lord to write… to write about the Doves of LOVE Release which I did not write about last year for reasons that are no longer relevant. The words and thoughts about the day began to fill my head. I always pray about what I write, so when I was in my usual place in the garden a few days ago and my dove paid me yet another cherished visit it was confirmation I must share about my Dove of LOVE and the Doves of LOVE Release from last year. To me it is no coincidence or as I like to refer to them, Michael-incidence that this dove would visit me every time a project of LOVE for Michael takes root in my heart. Every time I take the risk to reach out in LOVE to do something to make that change for Michael Jackson in this world.

I look very forward to the next visit from my beautiful dove friend, Michael, and like all other visits from my Dove of LOVE pray it will not be the last and anticipate the next visit will also be at the most unexpected time. God bless all who read this and your families, may we all be blessed by God abundantly and always walk and treat each other with LOVE... for as Michael said...It's All for LOVE....L.O.V.E.!

“Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--
and the greatest of these is LOVE.” 1 Corinthians 13:13


Male Dove, Michael, forefront on branch of my tree. Behind him the female in the leaves.

UPDATE 2/15/12:
This post was originally published on 5/9/11. Now all these months later my dove still comes to visit me. Many times I have thought maybe he was gone, flying off somewhere else to nest. Like God's messenger of LOVE that Michael always was he always show up at the times when I need it most. Unexpectedly and always a welcome, uplifting surprise. He also now has a mate and they come to visit me together... she always stays just a bit behind, he always in the forefront.

Just last week at a very down moment in time for me, just when I needed reassurance very much, Michael the Dove, landed on the edge of the roof in my back yard and then swept down past my sliding glass door to say hello. I was delighted, amazed and intrigued as always. He flew right down to the sliding window and drew me outside then continued on flight past my Giving tree to the Apple tree in the neighbors yard, his favorite perch, landed and just looked at me. There he lit and just there behind him was his beautiful mate. I can't even begin to express how much my spirits were lifted. Nothing else mattered as I stood watching and listening to them coo.

He is just beautiful. Still a glistening pale pink, taupe color and his mate just a bit lighter. She has been with him now for sometime. This is not their first visit to me together. He seems so proud of her. They both sat up on the branch cooing at me for the longest time. Then blissfully, peacefully flew away together. The sound of their wings flapping in the air filling my heart with God's comforting presence. God's purpose for me on this earth may still be a mystery except to say I try as best I can to follow God's will and not swerve too far off God's desired road for me; however for these two beautiful creatures most certainly their God given purpose is to shower LOVE, peace, joy and beauty where ever they visit. I thank the Lord for my very visible, tangible confirmation of His everlasting LOVE and protection in my life. I so look forward to the next Michael Dove visit.

I just received this video via email made by a Russian MJ fan. So incredibly beautiful evoking so many thoughts of my sweet Michael Dove of LOVE.
Thank you Marta and Mado.